t h e r e m i n i s c e n t s t a r - -
v2.o -star.
thereminiscentstar .
portia jolene ; posh * lene * (:
LALAPOLYPOCKETCHOONG ;
going 19 .
nafa svaf .
attached . =)
they call me starshine ; tinkerbell ; queenLALA*
191286
broken; and worthless .
hyper .
not what i seem to be .
tend to lose myself in thoughts .
daydreamerr .
sadistic .
black ; hotpeenk ; orange ; white ; purple .
lamee . extremely at times .
comforts people ; but yearns comfort from friends .
cynical .
imperfect .
stubborn .
bossy .
extremely fragile ;
has a soft mushy heart .
am redundant whereever i am . =)
yearns to fly *
je'taime .
the Man Up there . =))
him. =D
churchies .
EEYOREE !
monokuro boo .
cinnamoroll .
starrs .
my telescope . also known as my WIFE . =]
butterflies .
qing tian wawa .
windmills .
carousels .
dancing .
clubbing .
esplanade .
east coast .
southern most point .
changi airport .
marina south .
to be a unique !
blowing bubbles .
jewellery making . =D
taking black&white photographs .
photoshopp !
princess .
cousins shannon&jamie !
sad songs .
piano ; sax ; guitar . (but can't play any)
Saturday, June 12, 2004
was i supposed to know all of these.? someone tell me. was i?
i don't know what to say le. okay. i'm really commentless.
i'm always the one who refuses to give up. but you know what? after reading your entry. i think. forget it. just. forget everything yars.
you didn't tell me anything. was i supposed to know? i had my phone. you didn't message me. its okay. if i knew you had a blister which was about to fucking tear any moment. do you think i'll make you walk all the way to fucking coasta sands? i won't. okay? i won't. maybe i'm that conceited to you. its okay. i understand.
you said you're worried. yeah. okay. i know you are. but did you even ask? i mean. aaiyar. i shall not dwell on this. but its like. the way you behaved. totally tells me you didn't care. sorry. i appear not to have known what happpened MUCH earlier on.
all those talk. blahs. forget it la. things always ends up this way for me.. i wonder how many times God wants me to go through this before i can have a NORMAL relationship. yesh. true love NEVER runs smooth. i FORGOT that.
every single word on ur entry just. pricked me over and over. its even worse than cutting. and leaving it to bleed. its even worse than dying. ha. its. slow. and very much tormenting. which. fyi. means i have to TORMENT myself more in other forms so i need not feel the pain. sorry. but that's the way i am. yi du gong du.. you know?
i'm sorry that being with me. gave you so much of a problem.. well. i'm very much delighted to inform you that. as of this minute. the being worried bout me. and yadayadayada part. is gonna be deleted from your life. forever. =) good news yeah? yupp. i told you i'm a damn sucky girlfriend lah. yeah. if it helps that i don't appear ANYMORE in your life. let me know yeah. i'll gladly do so. you can have all the time you want.. =) i hope God forgives me for creating such chaos in your life.. sigh. i think. Angel's right. i really agree with all the contents in her letter. for the very last time.. i love you.
now i'm wondering. fuck. what am i gonna do during church camp. HAHA. great huh? life doesn't get any sweeter than this really... =) what a BLESSING.
jake. and the REST of you people. you guys should be DELIGHTED to know that ALL OF YOU ARE RIGHT. yeah. and also. the REST of the POPULATION who thinks that we will not last. CONGRATS. you've just won FIRST PRIZE. happy NOW? i hope ALL OF YOU ARE. really. =))
ok. back to jake and the crew. yeah. so you're right. its so extremely stressful to be wimme. i'm too HARD to configure. too TOUGH to deal with. not DESERVING enough for anyone else. not even DESERVING to live. i get it le. okay? i get it le. but you know WHAT? these wouldn't mean anything still.
you guys want IT from me? FINE. i'll give you a whole BOTTLE of IT. and if ITS not ENOUGH. tell me. HA. its a promise. i'll give IT ALL to you. even if it means i'll be DRAINED dry. i don't fucking care.
happy now? i hope ALL of you are.
SOMEBODY FUCKING RIP MY HEART OUT AND LEAVE ME HERE TO BLEED.
;elysium.
7:56:00 PM
eternitywithYOU.
Zen Neeon .
new laptop .
Christian Dior - Dolce Vita .
Corrinne May's 2 albums .
Plumb's albums .
Dishwalla's albums .
Nicholas Spark's books .
Levis 501 & Diva Jeans .
Chronicles of Narnia .
a new starglobe . =|
my daisy rock star bass .
